I want to share this crazy ride I am on with you. Many people have traveled this road in the past. I know I’m not the first.
There were so many things that ran through my head when I found out I was going to be a boy mom and so many things I felt guilty about feeling or thinking.
When I get nervous I Google things (I know…bad idea) but reading other people’s stories helps me deal with stuff.
It was hard for me to find solid advice on becoming a first time boy mom.
Nothing I say is meant in a mean way or sexist way. It’s just things that crossed my mind and I’m sure cross other first time boy mom’s minds.
Now… it’s my obsession to make sure I am the best boy mom out there, and to help all the other boy moms find the resources they need to raise kind, honest, hardworking boys into manly little men.
Here’s how it went down…
This will be our first I said. I looked at my husband and smiled.
The ultrasound technician wiggled the remote control thing over my belly and paused on the “potty shot”.
That’s a penis. She typed on the computer screen in all caps with two exclamation points “IT’S A BOY!!”.
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
Everyone told me it was a girl and I had prayed it would be.
I LITERALLY know NOTHING about raising boys. NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.
HOW DID I GET HERE???????
We both made our predictions before going to the doctor. I said “boy” but mostly because I wanted to be able to tell my little girl “I thought you were a boy but I was wrong…it’s just because you were so strong”.
I looked at my husband and held back terrified tears and asked if he was excited.
Dummy. Look at him. He’s elated. Why are you asking if he’s excited? He just found out he has a full time buddy – and you are…alone.
Growing up, I always told everyone I wanted “6 boys. I want to coach my own little league team.”
Mostly, because I always wanted to be different and I hated being like everyone else.
Then I met my husband and something changed. I just wanted a baby girl. He would be the perfect little girl dad. It honestly never crossed my mind that we would ever have a little boy. NEVER.
I even told my little sister that if I had a boy I would “toss him back into the ocean” – I was totally joking, don’t call CPS.
All the little kids I had been around were girls. I liked girl things.
I sewed. TuTu’s, Fairytale princess bibs, Tiny Dressed. Basically, anything with glitter.
I didn’t know how to entertain little kids except for girls.
My go to babysitting routine – blanket pile, lots of pillows, excessive amounts of sugar, a few quarters to bribe them with, My Little Pony Movie, nail polish and a craft that involved lots of glitter (you bet their parents always LOVED coming home).
We drove home from the ultrasound and for the rest of the day I could barely talk. I was mad. I was sad. I was shocked.
I knew letting words out of my mouth would lead to tears.
My world was spiraling.
It’s just a baby. A little person. It doesn’t matter the gender. You know you are going to love it either way. And I would. I just didn’t know HOW.
How can I possibly be a good boy mom?