When I Look in the Mirror I Don’t See Me

When I look in the mirror I don’t see me… I see a worn out momma.

I’ve been struggling as I adjust to my new role of mom. Constantly feeling like I’m having some kind of identity crisis.

Before the baby I was slim, on time, fully dressed/coordinated and even wore makeup. Looking back… I felt GOOD!!!

It’s hard to walk past a mirror and not recognize myself.

I’m learning to dress my new body. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that my old favorite pair of jeans may never fit again. I’ve perfected the messy bun and I have one whole drawer dedicated to yoga pants.

My hair is the longest it’s ever been (thank you prenatal vitamins) but it’s falling out like crazy.

My body is sore from growing and birthing a human, my joints ache from rocking him and carrying him all the time and from crawling around on the ground playing.

My eyes have dark circles from the late nights. My face is fuller and the double chin hasn’t gone away yet.

My boobs are saggy and have stretch marks.

My stomach has a kangaroo pouch of skin that may never go away and my thighs have spider veins that look like a treasure map.

They say being a mom is hard but you never really know what that means until you live it. It’s so much more than “hard”.

I LOVE being a mom. I want to love my body. I want my son to see me at my best.

Stay tuned as I share all the tips and tricks I learn as I try to get back on track!

 

 

My Co-Sleeping Conundrum

It’s almost 10 p.m. and I’m still up (Baja Blast at 9:00 p.m. was not a good idea).

Tonight, I have co-sleeping on my mind.

When I had my son my anxiety was overwhelming (it still is but I’ve learned how to cope a little). That’s one thing no one tells you before you become a parent – how much you worry.

My son had a tiny choking incident in the hospital, which I am pretty sure is pretty common by the way the nursing staff reacted but it made my anxiety go through the roof. His first few months at home he had terrible reflux and would spit up like the exorcist randomly.

At first I made my decision because I was literally at my breaking point I was so exhausted and I didn’t have much help during the nights. I was secretly crying alone in the bathroom whenever I got a break and got a second alone. This momma needed sleep. I had been sleeping in the recliner with him on my chest for the first two months barricaded in by pillows. When he hit 12 pounds I decided I had to find a way to get him to sleep on his own without the fear of choking in the middle of the night. We tried to do three hour shifts which was miserable and my husband doesn’t do well without a solid 8 hours of sleep. We were exhausted and we were fighting all the time.

After a lot of research, I decided that it was time to move him into our bed. I could hear him and feel him breathing so I could react quickly if anything happened. My husband had lost his job two months before the baby was born and my maternity leave wasn’t paid so purchasing a $300 breathing monitor wasn’t an option.

I research and researched and research. I was certain I was going to make the wrong decision and everyone’s opinions didn’t help.

  • It’s a fairly common practice around the world
  • To me it seems pretty natural to comfort my tiny human who can’t walk, talk or react on his own in the middle of the night – developmentally, I don’t feel like he is ready to be all alone in a separate room
  • The naysayers’ only reasons for not having him in our room have to do with their personal opinions and sleep patterns (you won’t get any sleep, you don’t want him in your bed, etc.)
  • Practicing safe co-sleeping can actually reduce the chance of SIDS

As I lay here, next to Bradley in his cookie monster jammies I don’t regret my decision to bring him into our bed. Not for one second. I’ve gotten a lot of flack for it from friends and family (it will be harder to break the habit down the road, your doing him a disservice, etc).

The first night he slept in our bed – I slept too. I was a new person. I woke up in the morning ready to be the mom I wanted to be (not a zombie with a grudge).

I plan to transition him when he can call for me from the other room (if he’s ready).

He will only be little once and I’m not upset about the mid-night snuggles, tiny hand holding mine or the smell of baby on my sheets.

Let me know if anyone needs a brand new crib or baby monitor– because we aren’t using ours anytime soon…

If you are interested in co-sleeping/bed sharing here are a few resources:

  • Bedtiming
  • Sweet Sleep
  • Happiest Baby on the Block

Diaper Bag Snack Ideas

When you leave the house with a little one and they get hungry 15 minutes into the trip having snacks on hand is a game changer.

Here are a few of my favorites!

  • Goldfish
  • Dehydrated Fruit
  • Cheerios
  • Granola Bars
  • Raisins
  • Pea Crisps
  • Rice Cakes
  • Apple Sauce Cups
  • Almonds
  • Marshmallows
  • Cereal
  • Trail Mix
  • Crackers
  • String Cheese
  • Beef Jerky
  • Yogurt
  • Oranges
  • Bananas

Little Pick-Me-Ups

It’s Simple Really.

I want to be happy all the time, like in the movies.

When I start to feel like I’m not happy I inject some happy into my life.

Here are some of the things I do that help me feel happy all the time.

  • Buy Fresh Flowers
  • Eat Fresh Fruit (Cantaloupe, Berries, Watermelon)
  • Drink Infused Water (Cucumber or Coconut)
  • Dark Chocolate (any chocolate will work)
  • Drink Tea
  • Focus on Nothing but Sitting Straight for 10 Minutes (it calms me down, helps with my posture and makes me feel refreshed)
  • Get Fresh Air and Sunlight
  • Herbal Teas
  • Indulge in “Better Option” Sweets (Chocolate Covered Strawberries)
  • Listen to My Favorite Music
  • Stretch
  • Tell Someone I Love Them
  • Use Glitter
  • Wash My Face
  • Watch movies/pictures of puppies and kittens
  • Wine (specifically a glass of Cabernet)

Here are some reminders that help me stay on top of my game:

  • Avoid Salt
  • Eat Healthy (no sugar, no caffeine)
  • Exercise
  • Let Others Talk (you don’t always need to be saying something)
  • Stay Hydrated
  • Take My Vitamin

What are some of your favorite things to do for a little pick me up?

FREE Grocery List Printable

Going grocery shopping always seems like such a chore. I decided that I was going to take the work out of making a list every time and make a master list.

This way I can print it out and leave it on the counter and then each week when I realize I’m out of something I can just highlight it – no need for random reminders in every room of the house!

I hope my list makes your life easier!

P.S. – I left room so you can add your items to the bottom!

Weekly Grocery List